My True Feelings
by Shirosa
Summary: Selphie has always had feelings for Squall. After the Sorceress War, her feelings for him had deepened. With Rinoa in the way, Selphie doesn't know how to tell him, but she wonders if he feels the same for her, even just a little bit.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! I know some of you are thinking this is copyrighted work, but it's not. I forgot the email I used for my other account... and the password. So I created another account so I can continue writing this story. I'm working on it again, so there's more added to it. I hope you enjoy it!

I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or the characters!

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My True Feelings

Chapter 1

Selphie's Balamb Garden Homepage

'_Hiya, people! Selphie here. Well, we have a ball coming up organized by yours truly. It's on Friday. Any of you lovely boyz gonna ask me to go with you? Tee-hee. Just kidding! Well, since it's so close to Halloween, I decided to make it a Halloween Ball! So go head and get a costume. That means you too SQUALL! If you don't I'll… I'll… I'll tickle you to death! Remember, only I know your ticklish spot. (Evil laugh) Oh! Any help with decorating the Quad is much appreciated! Any volunteers? Please? I'll love you forever and ever! Well that's all for now! See ya in the halls!'_

Selphie had to giggle to herself about that post. During the last few months, she's become a lot closer to Squall, and it made her so happy. At first, she thought he completely hated her, or maybe just thought she was really annoying. The latter was probably true. But if it was, he never voiced his opinion about her. Then again, he never really talked much to begin with. He probably thought she was crazy. Maybe she was. But she wasn't that much different from any 'normal' teenage girl. Sure, she was a little childish, but who can blame her? The girl knew how to have fun.

_'Ok, now that I've updated, time to get working on the quad.'_ she thought to herself.

Opening the drawer to her desk, Selphie couldn't help but to look up at the framed picture that sat on the top shelf. It was of her and Squall during the surprise birthday party she had thrown for him a few months back. Using his awesome photography skills, Zell had taken the photo at just the right moment when Selphie had decided to surprise Squall by plopping right in his lap while he was deep in thought… like always. They were on the stage, and thinking she was going to fall, Squall had put his arms around her and pulled her to him, making their noses touch. It was her most favorite photo. The photo showed he was genuinely worried for her safety, even if the fall wouldn't have seriously hurt her.

_'Ok, we need Halloween decorations, food, drinks, A LOT of hot dogs, and candy! Lots of candy! Maybe I can get Zell or Irvine to take me candy shopping.'_

Deciding it was about time to get dressed, Selphie went over to her closet and pulled out a pair of jeans. It was much too cold out to be wearing her usual yellow dress, much to her dismay. She loved the dress, but she didn't want to get sick either. But she did pull out a dark purple tee-shirt to wear with the jeans. Lastly, she slipped on a simple black zip up sweater. Instead of going with her brown boots, she had decided wear her black flat slip-ons. She applied some light makeup, and fixed her hair out to it's usual flip at the ends.

With a yawn, she decided it was about time she went down to the Quad. With Halloween being just around the corner, she really wanted to get things done fast. But, of course, she wanted it to be good. Not half-assed. Making arrangements for a ball was sometimes easy, but there were times when it became real stressful for her. Making diagrams weren't that much of a problem. The refreshments and tables pretty much went in the same spot all the time. Really, it was the decorations that got to her. Decorations, music, and food.

She was debating on whether she wanted to get a DJ or a live band for this ball. The live band, of course, would be the students. There were some in Garden who got together to play music. They were rather good. Then there were a few students who were DJs. They were just as good. She wanted to be fair, so this time she put a poll on the Garden Festival page, and most had voted for one of the bands. They were a band who played their own music, as well as music from popular singers… but they added a bit of a twist to their version. Selphie was happy with them, so she couldn't wait to hear them play.

Seeing that the Quad was turning out great so far, Selphie smiled and went over to the decorations that weren't put up yet. The balloons were going to have to wait until the day of. She had an idea for some of the skeletons that a student had made. He was really great with this kind of stuff. It looked pretty real, and it was just how Selphie imagined it. He even made a few that looked like they were still decomposing. Selphie felt that this was just going to be great! She had the idea of maybe hanging a few from the ceiling, like they were, well, hanged. Of course, there were going to be a couple in coffins. She thought about asking the boy if he could make some zombies, but she didn't know what the budget was yet. But the kid was a great help and had offered to do a few of the props for free, only because he really loved doing that kind of stuff. Selphie knew that once he was out of Garden, he'd be going to school for it.

Food was never THAT big of a deal. Hot dogs were always on the list. They were one of the best sellers, at least for the guys. But junk food was most likely going to be the main 'food group.' Cookies, candy, and cakes were on the list. But she didn't want it to be all that was there. There were students that just couldn't eat that stuff or just weren't a big fan of sweets. Sure, that's where hot dogs came in, but she didn't want it to be 'it's either sweets or hot dogs'. So, she put hamburgers and pizza on the list as well. She was sure that she would think of something else when she went out shopping today. She had to make this the best. She wanted everyone to have as much fun as they can that night. With a smile, she checked things over one more time before leaving to go to the cafeteria.

She found her friends there, sitting at their usual table in their usual spots. The guys on one side and the girls on the other. She couldn't help but to think what great friends she has. She knew that they would always be there for her. Even Seifer, who has joined their gang not to long ago. She thought of him as a big brother. A big protective brother that always picked on her. And she couldn't be more happy with that, even if it did annoy her at times. But that was what big brothers were for, right? Zell was the same, in a way. He was five months younger than Selphie, but he still acted like a big caring brother to her. He was always there to make her laugh when she was feeling a bit down. He always said a frown never looked good on her. And Squall would do little things to make her feel better. Like, he would buy her a flower or buy her lunch. Quistis was like a big sister, always looking out for her. And Rinoa… well… Rinoa was a close friend. Selphie didn't really see her as a sister, but she was a really great friend.

_'I have really great friends,'_ Selphie thought to herself happily. _'They're always there when I need them. Even Seifer. He's like a big protective brother. I'm so glad he's part of our gang now. He and Squall are best friends now. Totally unexpected, but not bad at all. It works.'_

Since Zell was sitting with his back toward her, Selphie decided to scare him. When everyone at the table except Zell saw her coming, she made the 'Shhh' gesture. She grinned and quickly hugged Zell from behind, shouting, "Hiya, Zell!"

"Ahhhhh! HOLY SHIT!" Zell screamed and fell back in his seat.

Everyone at their table, and everyone else that saw, started laughing. Even Squall. Selphie smiled at her success. She was happy to see Squall laughing. She didn't expect him to laugh, but to her surprise he did. She was very happy about that. Anyone who managed to make Squall laugh or even smile for that matter deserves a metal.

"That just proves that you're a chicken-wuzz," Seifer said to Zell.

Selphie laughed as she seated herself in-between Quistis and Zell.

"Dammit Selphie. You scared the living hell out of me!" said Zell

"That was the point," she told him with a huge smile on her face. "So what's up?"

"Well, we were thinking that we should go shopping for costumes," said Rinoa. "It's Halloween soon, and we remembered you were talking about having a Halloween themed ball or something."

"Don't you mean _you_ were thinking?" asked Squall, eyeing her. He hated how she made decisions for everyone.

"Nooooo._ We_," she corrected.

"I'm not dressing up."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"YES YOU ARE!" the three girls shouted at him.

"Whatever," Squall said rolling his eyes. There was no arguing with them.

"Yay!" exclaimeed Selphie excitedly, a huge smile on her face. Now she had to make this ball epic.

"I guess I can go as SeeD."

"Squall, that's boring. Why go as something you are when you can go as something you're not?" Selphie asked, giving him a pout.

"Because I don't want to dress up."

"Why don't you go as a um…a rock star! You'll look so cool! Or… Um… Hmm… Maybe a monster? I know! A Greek god! You'd look so hot!" She then felt herself go red. Did she just say that out loud?

Squall thought about this for a while. "I have to think about it. I'm not saying yes," he told her. He would have to put a lot of thought into it. Dressing up seemed childish to him. He was never one to get into things like Halloween or costume parties.

"Ok! I hope you do dress up, Squall. It could be really fun. I know it's not your kind of thing, but there's no harm on having fun every once in a while, right?" she asked him. She saw that he was going to say something, but Rinoa interrupted him.

"I'm going as a princess," said Rinoa with pride and joy.

_'Surprise,'_ thought Squall. _'She acts like one already. Selphie should tell her to dress up like something she's not.'_

"What are you all going as?" Selphie asked the rest of the gang.

"I'm going as a doctor," said Quistis, with a small smile. Selphie always thought that if Quistis wasn't an instructor, she would be a doctor.

"I gonna go as a boxer," said Zell as he did some boxing moves. Selphie giggled, shaking her head at him.

"I'm going as a FBI agent," said Irvine. "You know, since I can't really go as a cowboy. That'd be 'boring.'"

"Firefighter," Seifer simply said.

"Oooooooo, that's a good one! Tee-hee. You'd look really great!" said Selphie, smiling happily at him.

"I changed my mind. I'll go as what cowboy said here."

"Oh, come on, Seifer! I was only saying the truth. I'd think you look good as a FBI agent, too. You're so mean to me!" Selphie said with fake tears in her eyes.

"But it's so fun!" Seifer said with a smile. "But I'll probably stick with the first one."

"You big ol' meanie. Well, I came here to ask you guys if you could-"

"Help you set up decorations in the quad," they all finished for her.

"Yeah, what you guys said," she said with a giggle. "You know me so well. Well, will you? PUH-LEASE?"

"Ok, Selphie, we'll help," said Squall. _'Might as well. She'll never leave you alone until you do.'_ His friends gave him a weird look, but he chose to ignore it. Sure, it was a little out of character for him to agree so quickly, but Selphie was going to beg until they agreed to help.

"Great! We can get started now. I need to go shopping for candy and some more decorations, so who wants to go with me?"

"I'll go," Squall said getting up. "I need to get out of here for a few hours. Plus Seifer and Irvine are taller than me, they can put the streamers and banners up." Selphie noticed the look that Rinoa gave him, but Squall saw it and chose to ignore it, or he just didn't see it at all. Again, it was a little out of character for him to volunteer, but Squall was right. Selphie thought Squall needed a little time to get out of Garden. Time where he wasn't actually required to. Like… go on a mission or something.

"You're right. Then eat up Squall! We have candy shopping to do!"

"I already ate. You should eat. You'll need the energy." He looked at the tiny energetic girl who just stared up at him. "Never mind. But I'd still like you to eat a little something at least." _'She never runs out of energy.'_

Selphie nodded and got up to get herself a bagel with cream cheese along with a coffee to drink. Like she needed something else to add on to her energy. But coffee was good, and she didn't want to pass it up. She took it back to the table and had a nice conversation with her friends while she ate.

Selphie grabbed his hand and led him to the parking lot. Once they got there, she climbed in the passenger's side of Squall's truck that he got for his birthday from Laguna. Squall got in the drivers side with a sigh. He liked the truck, but he felt like Laguna was trying to buy him with it. Selphie told him that he should accept the gift and try to let his father be in his life. He knew she was right. It wasn't his father's fault that he was forced to go to an orphanage when he was a baby. Sure, his father knew about him, but until a year ago, they never knew about each other. So… can he blame the man? Maybe when Laguna had Ellone taken from the orphanage, he should have asked about Squall… But Squall also knew that it was easy to come to the assumption that a baby died with his mother. Squall didn't know what to really think, but he knew that Laguna must feel horrible. He supposed he could give the man a shot.

"Squall, this is so cool! He picked a really nice one for you!" said Selphie.

"It is nice to have. I don't have to drive a huge Garden car around," he said, agreeing with his friend.

"He's really trying, Squall. So you should give him a chance and maybe spend some time it him. Get to know him," she said with a small pout.

Squall just turned the radio on. It boomed Godsmack. He figured Selphie would change it to something more of her liking, but to his surprised, he found her dancing in her seat. Not that was strange. She seemed like she'd be one of those girls that was into pop music. Like… What was that singer Rinoa listened to? Britney something. He couldn't remember the whole name. He wasn't one to listen to it. But he was forced to under certain circumstances.

"You like Godsmack?" Squall yelled over the music.

"Yeah! They're awesome!" She yelled back.

After the song was over, Selphie still didn't change it. Squall turned down the music. He looked over at her in surprise.

"Heeeey, I was listening to that, you person," Selphie said playfully punching him on the arm.

"Do you like rock?" he asked, surprised by her choice of music.

"I love rock. Any kind of rock is fine with me. Classic Rock, Hard Rock, a little of Pop Rock. I like it all. Well, except for, like, Screamo. Can't understand a word they're saying. Lets just say I like A LOT of rock music."

"I thought you would listen to the crap Rinoa listens to. By the way, remind me to remove about half of what's on there."

"Nope! Well, maybe just a bit. I don't like Rap or Hip – Hop. For Pop, though, it REALLY depends on the singer. Um, I kinda really like Asian Pop, though," she said, giving him a smile. "Okay, will do! But I get to tell you which Pop songs to keep!"

Squall was surprised. He really did think she would listen to whatever Rinoa listens to, and to him, it wasn't good music at all. He was glad that she did listen to rock. No one else in the gang besides Seifer and Zell listened to rock. Then again, he did sometimes catch Irvine listening to rock sometimes, but he cowboy stuck to country most of the time. Not that country was bad. Squall just liked to stick to his rock.

Selphie started going through his iPod, looking for something else to listen to. She found that there were A LOT of rock bands and singers on it, as well as some pop. Rinoa probably put the pop on there. Selphie didn't strike Squall as a pop listener. Well… She did find an Ayumi Hamasaki cd in his room once… Then again… it could have been Rinoa's. With a giggle, she went to said singer and played one of her songs, just to see the reaction she'd get from him. To her surprise, she got just a small smile. Well, there was nothing wrong with Ayu!

"Squall! I'm surprised! Ayumi is a pop singer! You like her?" she asked her friend, looking over at him.

Squall merely shrugged and looked over at the small girl. "Japanese music isn't bad at all," he said to her, giving her a smile.

"Squall, you're pretty awesome. Can't believe we have so much in common," she said to him, giving him a huge smile.

"Hey, do you we can stop by the music shop? Girugamesh's new cd just came out and I wanna get it."

"Selphie, I think you're my new best friend." Squall said with a smile.

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Welp, there it is! I hope to get out the second chapter within the next couple of days. I'm getting excited about this one again! Please review! Let me know if you see any mistakes I can fix!


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or the characters!

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My True Feelings  
Chapter 2

"Ok, we gotta get a whole bunch of candy. Since I'm not having the Halloween Ball on the same day as Halloween, I figured that the junior classmen could go trick or treating in Garden. Plus, we need a lot for the party," said Selphie. It wouldn't be the first year for Trick or Treating, but it wasn't something that went on every year. It depended on the school's budget, and those of SeeD. They would take a vote. Selphie had bought enough to give out at the ball, but she also bought some to give out to the children. This year, most SeeD had voted to do the trick or treating for the kids. Selphie was happy with that outcome. It's something fun for both junior classmen and SeeD to do together. Even the older cadets get into it for the kids.

Selphie and Squall were in Balamb shopping for candy. Squall was already pushing a cart filled with just candy. It was probably at least 100 gil worth. And Selphie was planning to get more. A lot more. He thought they had enough at first, but then again, he didn't know. He wasn't a big candy eater, so he thought what they had now would be plenty. But if she were planning on saving some for the junior classmen, then he supposed it was enough.

"Don't you think we have enough? You're going to spend more than 100 gil on candy," said Squall, gesturing to the candy that was in the cart.

"So? You can never have too much candy," Selphie replied, giving him a wink.

"You can if it's just for you."

"Well its not just for me, now is it Mr. Leonhart?"

"Whatever."

Selphie pick out another 100 gil worth of candy before going to the casher and paid for the candy. With all the candy they had got, Squall was a gentleman and carried most of the bags to the truck, putting them in the back. He knew this wasn't going to the only stop they were going to make. If he knew Selphie, and he was sure he knew his friend pretty well, she was going to have plenty of other stops she was going to want to make. It didn't bother him, though. Normally something like that would just annoy him to no end. Maybe because it was usually with Rinoa that he was shopping with. She was the kind of girl that would drag him into every store, trying on everything that they had. She'd even find clothes for him to try on, stuff that he knew he would never wear. Selphie, on the other hand, wasn't like that. Well, she can be. But today was all about the ball and the kids. Nothing was really for her. And she didn't have clothes for him to try on. So he was actually enjoying himself. Like he said, it was a chance for him to get out of the office. Away from Rinoa. Away from the office. Just…everything.

Next stop was a party supplies store. Selphie wanted to get more decorations. She felt they needed more spider webs and spiders to go along with it. She did find a pretty nifty looking punch bowl. Well, it was more of a dispenser. Squall that that was a better idea. He was gong to have to find a way to put a lock on the top so the kids couldn't spike it. Honestly, he didn't care what they did. But as commander, he had to make sure they weren't getting into trouble. So he had to prevent something such as spiking the punch.

In cart along with the drink dispenser was the spider webs and spiders. Selphie had also decided that she was going to put her baking skills to the test and bought A LOT of cupcake cups. She bought a grim reaper that stood about six feet tall. It said many different phrases and moved its head back and forth. His eyes glowed a bright red when he talked. They both decided he would be best to put at the doors of the Quad as it was motion censored. She was very happy with her purchases.

Just as they were going to Squall's truck, they passed an animal shelter. Selphie saw the kittens in the window and gasped. Her eyes were wide with excitement, and she couldn't help but give out a little squeal. Squall winced at the sound and turned to look at her. He hadn't noticed that she stopped, so he was a few feet away from her. How did that happen? He must have been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed.

"Awwwwww, Squall! They're so cute!" said Selphie as she hopped with even more excitement. Squall sighed slightly and went over to see what she was looking at.

"I like that one," she said once he got there.

He followed her gazed. It was a little black kitten she was looking at. It had beautiful blue eyes and basically was just a little ball of fur. Very fluffy. It seemed to be the smallest in the litter. Poor little guy was trying to play with the other kittens, but just kept getting pushed over. Selphie giggled at that and looked up at Squall. "Cute, right?" She's never had a pet before, and if she were to have one, she'd love to get a cat. Not that she didn't like dogs, but with her line of work, she figured a cat would be easier to take care of.

_'It does look kind of cute,'_ Squall thought.

"Its eyes look familiar," said Selphie. "They're so blue… So pretty." She looked up at Squall. He was still looking at the cat. She nudged him to get his attention. Once he looked at her, Selphie's eyes widen. _'His eyes! The kitten's eyes looks like Squall's.'_ thought Selphie.

"The kitten's eyes are like yours, Squall," Selphie told him.

"Do you want the cat?" He asked. He was commander after all. He had the authority to make that kind of decision. Pets weren't normally allowed in the dorms. But even if Selphie was still technically a student, he knew that she would be there longer. He had a feeling that she'd probably end up becoming an instructor, and she's been talking about wanting to get a pet for some time… Only Garden doesn't allow pets unless the animal was a 'weapon' like Rinoa used Angelo sometimes. Still, Selphie was going to be living in Garden. Squall felt that some of the rules needed to be changed anyway.

"Yeah, but I don't have enough money. I spent it all on candy and- hey! Where are you going?"

Squall didn't answer her question. He simply went in the shelter, told the employee which cat he wanted then, motioned Selphie to come in. She did as she was told. She stopped right in front of Squall, blushing slightly.

"Here, take this to my truck and stay there. I'll be there in a few minutes," he said giving her the keys and the bags of decorations. Selphie almost fell over as he kind of pushed the bags in her arms, but she managed to keep her balance.

"Squall, you don't have to buy me the cat. I won't have enough my to pay you back for the cat stuff plus the cat for a long time," said Selphie, giving him a pout. "And there's the 'no pet' rule at Garden. Cid would be mad if he found out."

"Who says you have to pay me back? You deserve it. Besides, some of the rules need to be changed anyway. I'll deal with Cid. Now go by the truck," Squall said giving her a little push toward the door.

Selphie nodded, blushing a little more as she picked up the bags she dropped. Squall grabbed a cart and helped her put the bags into it before letting her take control of it. She took one last look at him. He pointed his finger toward the door. Selphie smiled a bit and push the cart to the truck, starting to put the bags in the back.

_'Wow!'_ Selphie thought happily. _'Squall's getting me a cat? That's weird. He doesn't even want me to pay him back. I guess he is nicer than I thought. Even willing to bend the rules for me. I've always had a little crush on Squall, now, I think its changed from little to big!'_ She waited for Squall in his truck for about ten minutes. _'Maybe he needs help'_. She got out of the truck and started walking toward the little store, but she saw Squall coming. She smiled at him. He smiled back.

"Squall, I just wanted to say-"

"You don't have to thank me, Selph," he said as he put the stuff for the kitten in the truck. He was sure that he got everything that was needed. Litter, litter box, food, and some toys. Of course a couple of bowls for the food and water to go into. He knew almost nothing about cats, but the sales lady was very helpful. He may even think about getting a pet for himself. Maybe.

"But I want to. You're a good friend. At first, I thought that maybe you would roll you eyes and say you were busy when I asked for help. And when I asked who wanted to come with me, I thought that maybe Irvine-"

"Do you really think that little of me?" Squall asked a little hurt. He had no idea his friends thought of him like that.

"No! I just thought that you thought that I was annoying and you don't want to be around me or help me."

"Well you thought wrong. I adopted the cat for you as a gift from a friend and as commander. Mostly as a friend. Selph, you helped so much to make our garden better. You're always planning parties or balls. You make garden fun. It was boring before you came here. We need more students like you in Garden." Well, there were probably quite a few, but he hasn't met them all. A lot of the students always at on edge with him like he was going to yell at them for every little thing they did. He wished they wouldn't. He was strict, yes, but he knew how to have fun. Maybe he wasn't like that before, but… things change.

"Really?" she asked, blushing again for the hundredth time.

"Really."

"Cool! I rock!"

"You want to know what I think you should go as?"

"What?"

"A Greek Goddess."

She blushed and looked up at him. "But I'm nothing like a goddess."

"Even if that were true, that's the point of Halloween, Selphie," he said to her, giving her a small smile.

"You're right! I guess I'll just have to go as that, then."

"And I'll go as a Greek God."

"Uh…won't Rinoa be jealous? I mean, I think she's expecting you to do the whole couple's costume thing with her."

"She can't get what she wants all the time. I'm not dressing up as a damn prince."

Selphie giggled and shook her head. Rinoa would make him dress up as a prince. Or maybe a king. She smiled at him. He smiled back, ruffling her hair. He then carefully passed the carrier which contained the kitten over to Selphie. She thanked him again as she took it and went to the passengers side of the truck and got in. Selphie had to bring the little kitten out. With a smile, she cuddled with her, petted her, and named her Kali. She was just so happy. She liked seeing this side of Squall. Spending one on one time with him. It was nice. Selphie and Squall actually had a conversation on the way home. That was something Selphie had wished for the longest time. To have a actual conversation with Squall. They talked about numerous things. Squall was talking to her like, well, a best friend. The best thing was, he didn't use the word whatever…ok, so he did. But at least he was talking to her. That was the good thing. Selphie could now see that her relationship with Squall was finally starting to get better. She was glad that he didn't ignore her this morning. She was also glad that he wanted to come with her. She wanted the relationship to go further, but she didn't want to hurt Rinoa. Rinoa was one of her best friends. If Squall dumped her and got together with Selphie, would Rinoa still want to be her friend? All this was starting to scare Selphie. She shrugged if off for now and started to pay attention to what Squall was saying to her.

"You know, I thought you and Irvine would be going out," Squall said, glancing over at her before looking back at the road in front of him.

"No. We're not. I have no interest in going out with Irvine. I don't want to be dating a guy who I'm sure will be cheating on me. You know how he is. He flirts with girls all the time," Selphie told him. They both knew that Irvine had wandering eyes. Selphie sure didn't want to take the chance of dating a guy that would flirt with other girls. She could give him the benefit of the doubt, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. Being that she was seventeen now, only having dated just a couple of boys, none of them were very serious. She was ready for something serious.

"Yeah. I guess you're right. He does seem to have those eyes that wander. Then I don't want you going out with him. You're my best friend. If he hurts you, then I would have to hurt him." Not that Squall would have a problem with it. He really didn't like the other male to begin with. Sure, he's come to like him, but he was still a new friend to Squall.

"You sound like my protective brother," Selphie said, giggling.

"Whatever."

"How'd I know you were going to say that? Is that your favorite word or something? You're always saying it."

"I really don't know why I say it. It just comes out. I think I mostly say it when I don't have an answer or comment."

"I've noticed that. Its either 'whatever' or nothing at all."

"I guess."

"No, it definitely is. But that's okay. I suppose saying 'whatever' is better than nothing."

"I suppose. But I'll try to say more than just whatever."

"Good!"

Selphie gave him an evil grin. Even though he didn't see it because his eyes were on the road. With a playful smirk, she poked him on his side. He jumped a little before looking over at her. He gave her a little glare, one that he meant business. He hated that she found out where his ticklish spots where. And it was all because he had to share a room with her on a mission. She had to have her fun while he was reading. It annoyed the hell out of him. But he didn't do anything about it either.

"Don't poke me there," he said.

"But its funny. Who would have known you're ticklish on your side."

"Don't you dare tell Rinoa."

"Ok, ok. I promise I won't tell her. If I haven't told her yet, what make you think I'll tell her now?" Selphie asked, giving him a innocent smile.

"Good. Because if you do, then I will have to resort to violence."

"You wouldn't hurt little ol' me, would you?"

"Depending."

"Depending?"

"On how I'm feeling that day."

"I see. Well… How do you feel now?"

"Calm."

Squall smiled at her as he pulled into the parking lot of Balamb Garden and helped Selphie out. He took as many of the bags as he could and let Selphie carry the carrier with a few bags in her other hand. He knew he'd have to come back for the rest, so after all doors were closed, he locked it up and helped Selphie carry the things back to her room. Once the door was shut, Selphie let the kitten out. She had to giggle as Kali roamed around the room, exploring everything. She knew she was going to have trouble with the little kitten. She had a feeling that she was going to be waking up to whines and something playing with her hair. It would be annoying, but also something special.

After setting up the kitten's things, Selphie put the bags of candy away in her dresser. She just couldn't wait until they were done renovating. Instructors and high rank SeeD were getting bigger rooms with a kitchenette in it. She was definitely looking foreword to that. Bigger space. Meant more stuff! And she could buy her food and store it in that nice spacious cabinets she was going to get. Oh, she just couldn't wait. She wished they could go faster, but there was just so much those awesome technicians from Esthar could to. But, she just couldn't wait. Everything was going to look good, either way.

She looked up at Squall and smiled happily. "Thanks again for everything, Squall. You're a great friend! I liked hanging out with you today. It was really fun," she said to him, her smile getting a little bigger.

"No problem. It was fun. I really needed a day like this. To spend a day with a friend and… away from Rinoa," he said to her, giving her a small smile.

Selphie blushed lightly and looked down at the floor. "Well, anytime you wanna hang out, I'm up for it," she said. "Um, lets go check on the Quad!" She wanted to see how much her friends got down and what she could do to finish it off. She knew there were still some things that needed to be done. She still had to hang up the rest of the decorations and put up that cool looking grim reaper.

Squall nodded and picked up that bags that went to the Quad, deciding that he'd just get the rest of the bags of candy later. He followed Selphie to the Quad and helped her put up the decorations they just bought. Once they were done, Selphie stood back to admire their work. What their friends did was great, but adding the rest of the decorations made it better. This was going to be one of the best Halloween Balls ever! She just couldn't wait!

"Okay, let's go look for the gang and thank them," she said with a smile. "But first! I need to stop by the dorms and get Kali! I wanna show her cute furry face off!" And with that, she skipped ahead toward he dorms.

* * *

Sorry it took forever to update! I hope it won't take as long for chapter 3! Please review and tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

So, here it is! Chapter three! Hope you like it!

I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or the characters!

* * *

My True Feelings

Chapter 3

"I wonder what's taking so long," said Rinoa, looking up at the clock for the hundredth time. Selphie and Squall had been gone for a long time, and it was worrying her. Her boyfriend was out with some girl. Rinoa knew the girl, yes, but she also knew that this girl had a crush on her boyfriend. She could see it in Selphie's eyes. And she did not want to lose her boyfriend to some… hyperactive little child. Okay, that was bad. She shouldn't be thinking those kind of things about her friend, but she just couldn't help it. How could she not think that when the girl was out with her boyfriend? Rinoa knew she should have more faith in her boyfriend and friend. Trust them more. Especially Squall. She could never peg him for a cheater, but… you never know.

"Maybe Selphie is buying a whole bunch of candy. Or maybe they went to Deling City or Timber," Quistis said trying not to worry the girl.

Quistis and Rinoa were taking a break from setting up stuff for the ball on Friday. Since everything that needed to go up on the ceilings were done, they had decided to let the boys go early. Besides, they needed to wait to see what Selphie would bring back. Knowing her, she was always looking for more decorations for the parties that were thrown. Not that it was a bad idea. They could always use more decorations. Rinoa couldn't wait to see what Selphie dragged back, but she still didn't like the idea of the girl being out with her boyfriend this long. It shocked the girl that he even volunteered first to go. It was out of character for him. But Squall seemed a little peeved, so Rinoa wasn't going to press any more buttons. So Rinoa sighed and shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe they're off making out or something," she said, frowning. NO! She wouldn't believe that was what her boyfriend was doing. Squall was not that kind of man.

"Rinoa! He's not like that, so please stop thinking those things," Quistis told the brunette girl. Rinoa sighed again and put her head in her hands. She hoped Quistis was right, but Rinoa knew deep down in her heart that the red head was.

Xu came up to them then, smiling as she sat down next to Quistis. "I have a letter for you, Rinoa," she said as she handed out the envelope to the other girl. Smiling, Rinoa took the letter and opened it up, starting to read the letter. Her smile turned into a frown as she continued to read. With a sigh, she gave the letter to Quistis and put her head on the table. Quistis began to read the letter with Xu reading over her shoulder.

_Rinoa,_

_I want you to come home after this ball you were speaking of. We should spend time together to get to know each other more. That is what your mother would have wanted. I have cleared my schedule for the week for the two of us to spend time together. Please say you'll come._

_Love,  
your father_

"Oh, Rinoa. It's okay. He just wants to spend time with you. You haven't been home in a year. That's ever since you and Squall started dating," Quistis said trying to reassure Rinoa.

"But he wants me to go right after the Halloween Ball. I can't even be here on Halloween. It's not fair. Squall and I have spent every holiday with each other except for Halloween. Damn him. I hate my father," Rinoa said angrily.

"Rinoa, its just Halloween. It comes every year. Besides, he's reaching out to you. Didn't you want that?"

"Yeah I know, but god, he's so demanding If he wants something, it has to be that second. I wish my mom were still alive."

"Yeah, I wish mine was alive, too. You're lucky you even have a parent, Rinoa. This man is trying to reach out to you. He might not have been the picture perfect father before, but he's trying now," Quistis said, giving her friend a firm look. "It's not like he's saying to forgive him right away. Laguna didn't ask that of Squall when he found out about his father. Squall is just now coming to terms that he has a father, and is wiling to accept the man into his life. He's lucky, too. Selphie, Zell, Irvine, Seifer… me… Our parents – our real parents – are dead. We don't get to have that special moment with them. Be grateful. We were lucky enough to have a woman to act as our mother. She IS our mother. Selphie, Zell, and Irvine were the only ones lucky to be adopted and to have that family. Squall, Seifer and I weren't so lucky, you know that. You're lucky, Rinoa. You have no idea how lucky you are!" she finished, starting to get angry with Rinoa.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything," Rinoa apologized. "It was stupid for me to even say that… But… I just miss her. Things were better when she were around…"

"Its ok, I guess. I barely remember my mother. I have a picture of her, but that's about it." She looked over at Xu who gave the redhead a reassuring smile and looked over at Rinoa. She didn't feel like she needed to add anymore. Quistis had said her peace and Rinoa could do with it what she will. She just wanted to the younger girl to get it through her head that she was lucky that most people. Her father had money and Rinoa did not grow up without hearing the word 'no' to the things she wanted. What she wanted, she got. She had both her parents at one point, and even though one had passed away, she still had another to count and rely on. "Well I'm going to my dorm. There's really nothing else for us to do right now."

They had done a lot. All the black and orange streamers were up. The tables and chairs were set up. Zell found a black light in his room that he allowed them to use, so they decided to set it up at the refreshments table. There was a statue of a vampire that was found on the last level a year ago. No one knows how it got there, it has been missing for years, but when the gang went down there to talk to Norg, Selphie happen to spot it. She thought it would be a good decoration.

"Well, I'll see you later," Rinoa said to Quistis, giving her a small smile as the taller woman stood up.

"Yes, I'll see you at dinner," she said to the raven-haired girl, returning the smile before leaving to go to her dorm.

* * *

"So, did any of you notice how much Squall wanted to help Selphie?" Zell asked Seifer and Irvine. "Its like, unnatural of him. He never wants to help her. He rolls his eyes every time she asks and says that he's busy."

"Yeah, that's not like puberty boy," said Seifer, agreeing with the blonde.

Zell wasn't sure what to think of Seifer joining their group of friends. He knew that Squall never really disliked the guy in the beginning, but after all that's happened, he was sure that Squall wouldn't allow him to be near the school. Then again, it was Selphie who said it wasn't really Seifer's fault. He was under some kind of spell and that was the reason Seifer did the things that he did. She felt sorry for him, Zell could tell. And that was in her nature. He supposed she was right. Seifer didn't do all those things on purpose. Neither did Edea… or Matron. It was all because of Ultimecia. But now that everything is done and over with, Seifer returned. What went on between Squall and Seifer in the office, Squall would never tell. Zell suspected that Seifer begged for forgiveness, but Squall wouldn't tell. Probably didn't want to embarrass the man. So, mostly because of Selphie, Seifer was allowed back in Garden and was now currently taking his training to become SeeD seriously. No more mistakes.

"Maybe he likes her." Irvine suggested.

"Yeah, maybe. But he has Rinoa," said Seifer.

"Well, he has been ignoring her a lot lately. He doesn't want to do a lot of things she wants to do. He would always say he's busy."

"Cowboy's right. I think he does like Miss Sunshine. Everyone can tell that she has feelings for him. I think Rinoa gets pissed off at that. And-"

"Hey guys! Whatcha talking about?" came Selphie's voice from behind them.

"Hey Selphie, Squall," said Zell greeting them.

They noticed the sleeping black kitten in her arms that was purring like mad. Selphie was stroking her neck, smiling happily.

"What's that cat for?" ask Irvine.

"Me! Squall adopted her for me."

All three boys eyes went wide for just a moment. What possessed their commander to do something like that? Wasn't there a school rule saying that pets weren't allowed? And now he's letting her have a pet? What was going through his head?

'Squall must like Selphie,' Zell thought. 'He never bought Rinoa something like that.'

"So, what'd you name it?" asked Seifer, reaching out to stroke the kitten's back.

"Kali! I like that name for a black cat." Selphie said happily. "She's so sweet! I'm so happy!"

"Pretty cute. You're like a new mommy."

"Oh, stop! I'm not! I mean, sure, I'll think of this little girl as my baby! I suppose I am kinda like a new mommy, huh?" Selphie giggled. "Oh, the Quad looks great, guys! You and the girls did a really good job! Thank you so much!"

"No problem, Sefie," Irvine said, giving his friend a smile. "I know you need us much taller men to help you out."

"Hehe, well, thanks! I'm gonna go to my dorm for a bit. Can't have Kali out for too long! See ya! And thanks for today, Squall!"

She took off toward her dorm, humming to herself as she did so. She was just so happy. Life was going good now, and she was going to enjoy it as much as possible. And even if something big like the sorceress war happened once more, she wasn't going to let it bother her. She smiled to herself and looked down at the little kitten. She was getting those looks from the other students. The kind that they think she's doing something bad and was going to get busted for it. She knew they were talking about her, too, but Selphie had nothing to fear. She had permission from Squall to keep the cat. Hell, he adopted the cute thing for her, so what was her worry? Let them talk. Once she neared the dorms she slowed down and looked at the now awake cat. She felt lucky that she got this little cutie. She couldn't wait to see how big the kitten was going to get. Smiling to herself, she looked up to see Rinoa just ahead.

"Hey Rinoa!" Selphie called.

Rinoa turned around hearing her name. She saw Selphie coming toward her. She gave her a small smile. "Hey Selphie. I didn't know you guys were back," she said to her friend, giving her a quick hug.

"Yeah, we got back a little bit ago."

"I see. Aww, where'd you get the cat? She's so cute!"

"Balamb Shelter. Squall adopted her for me 'cause I didn't have enough money. He was so sweet; he also got kitty litter, litter box, and cat toys. He doesn't even want me to pay him back," Selphie answered happily.

"Oh. I see." _'He never got me stuff like that! Why'd he get her a cat?'_ Rinoa thought jealously. "Excuse me."

Selphie watched Rinoa run down the hall to Squall's dorm. She shrugged then continued on to her dorm while humming a tone to herself. What was that all about? Selphie didn't know, but she wasn't going to worry about it either. With a smile, she unlocked her door and went in, going to set Kali on the bed. "You were just getting so much attention! They might not have come up to pet you, but you were sure getting a lot of stares! You're such a cutie!" She giggled as the kitten started to play with one of the toys on the bed, then kind of fell off. She just LOVED this kitten!

* * *

She was upset! Pissed! This was just outrageous. She knew she shouldn't be upset, but she was! Why did her boyfriend think it was okay to go and do something like that? Well, she was going to find out. Rinoa banged on Squall's door. She waited a few seconds before banging on the door even harder. "Squall! Open up! I know you're in there!" she shouted.

"No, I'm not," came a voice from behind her. Rinoa turned around to see her boyfriend right in front of her. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? What's wrong? Was he really asking her what's wrong? She gave him a glare. In response, he gave her one, too. "What the hell, Squall? What makes you think it's okay to buy something like that for Selphie?"

Was she really asking him that? He honestly didn't think it was a big deal. So he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's not a big deal, Rinoa," he said before pushing his way to his dorm, unlocking it and going in. He sighed when she followed him in, continuing to yell at him about the cat. He was really getting sick of this. "Rinoa! She's a friend, okay? I think I'm entitled to getting my friends whatever I want," he said to her as he sat on the bed.

"It's not the point, Squall! It's WHAT you got her."

"Are you serious? If I were to get her some of that lingerie stuff that you make me buy, I could understand. But this is a cat, Rinoa."

While he did have a point, it still made her upset. She didn't know why, though. Maybe it was just that he was spending his money on someone other than her. She knew that he was making big bucks being a top rank SeeD member, plus being commander. That was probably it. She just needed to calm herself down. So she took a few deep breaths before sitting next to Squall. "Look. I just think that maybe you should talk to be about that kind of stuff before you go and do it."

"I don't think I should have to. It's my money, Rinoa. It's not yours. You know what… I think we need to take a break from each other." He just couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't cater to her every need. He had his own things he needed and wanted to do. This… This was just the last straw. If she thought he had to tell her how he was spending HIS money, then she had another thing coming. When she bought stuff, he didn't ask her why she did it or what it was for. It was none of his business. If they were married, it would be another thing, but something that only cost about two hundred gil all together was not that much out of the money he was making. He was making A LOT of money. Rinoa was probably asking herself how Selphie didn't have the money to adopt the cat herself. Well, most of Selphie's salary was going toward Trabia's repairs. She's donated a lot, only leaving enough for herself for the necessities.

"Take a break? But why?" Rinoa asked, tears filing her eyes. He hated it when she cried. A lot of the time he felt like it was an act, but he didn't think so this time. But this was just how he felt. Rinoa was his first real girlfriend. When he was in class, he'd listen to some of the conversations his classmates had with each other about their girlfriends. Some stories he found completely ridiculous. But now he was thinking a lot of them were true.

"Because… I think I need a break. So I think we just need to… break up." See other people. He wanted to see if being in a relationship with another girl would be the same. Girls changed when they were in relationships, right? Rinoa seemed to have changed. No, he didn't want her to think that he was breaking up with her just so he could see other people. Chances were that he wouldn't even date anyone for a while. He had more important things to think about. "I just need some space, Rinoa. I have a lot of work to do. I can't stop what I'm doing every time you want to go shopping, or every time you want to go out to eat. I understand that you feel we need to spend more time together, but at this point in my life, I can't." He was breaking it to her gently. He could just tell her he didn't want to be with her and leave it at that. But he wasn't going to do that to her.

"If that's how you feel," she said to him. She didn't know what else to say. All this came to a shock to her. She thought they were doing pretty good. But all she is to him is a bother. Maybe a chore? She supposed that she was kind of needy. She was just that way. So maybe he wasn't that perfect guy for her if he couldn't wait on her hand and foot. No, that's not what she was really looking for… but she did like a man who didn't mind spending his money on her and spending all his time on her. She supposed that Squall couldn't be that man. Not what the kind of job that he had. So with a sigh, she looked up at him. "I understand," she said before leaning in to kiss him gently. "I'll see you later then, kay? Daddy wanted me to go see him after the ball, but I think I'm going to leave now." It would be for the better. She didn't want Squall to feel like he had to go with her to the ball now, and she didn't think she'd be able to stand to see him going with another girl. "See you later!"

He nodded and gave her a half smile. "Okay. Be nice to him. Bye." He knew she didn't have the best relationship with her father. He didn't with his, either, but he was a little bit more understanding. But he wasn't going to get into that now. He just watched his now ex girlfriend leave his room. He was sure they would still talk from time to time. She was still a client after all.

* * *

He guys! Sorry it took me so long to get this up! It really was Rinoa's parts that took me forever. I'm just not really all that into her character, so every time when it came to writing for her... I kind procrastinated it! Haha! But now it's done, and you probably won't see too much of her in the rest of the story. I don't know... we'll see!


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